Reflecting on the HIV epidemic

 

I reluctantly started to watch the TV series Pose, to be honest, and when I saw and the promo clip it and it didn’t appeal to me because I’m not really into all that it bitchy vogue thing, in fact, it’s the only song from Madonna I loathe.

Anyway, I didn’t go, and I thoroughly enjoyed it, it broke my heart an almost every episode, it set in the late eighties in series one and focuses on primarily the black and Latino Trans and gay community.  Several other characters are living with her HIV, remember at this time there was no medicine.

The sense of community and support of the characters and the Trans women the open houses and took in the waifs and strays, the young gay men who had been kicked out of home and rejected by the parents.  The other Trans women or on different stages of their journeys.

So, a focus is on the ballrooms and the competition to be the best queen in a particular category of dance and or movement when they win a trophy and the competition can be quite stiff had lost a bitching.

Series two places to 1990 the start of a series is an island where all of the people with our families and or and claimed are buried.  The two main characters both of them have HIV and are burying yet another friend and the person in charge of the island is prejudiced to be HIV positive people are saying at biohazard suits have to be worn as a did know how this virus was spread, which instantly at the time was a blatant lie I as they knew how it was transmitted.

He got me thinking as if about that time I came out in 1992 and it was plainly obvious who had HIV on the gay scene, he would see guys stick-thin often coming KS lesions sometimes weeks away from death, there were pages and pages of obituaries in the gay press on with guys who died that week or month.

But the gay male community was an only dealing with this it was dealing with or extreme homophobia in society and in media law had just been passed prohibiting schools from discussing LGBT issues.

I knew of the case of a friend on the day of the funeral of his long term partner the family removed all of a possessions of his partner from the house and demanded payment in lieu of the things they bought together because at that time I relationships when recognized in the Law and in fact even guys with wills leaving everything to their partners often this would be contested and the family would win.

I can’t help believing that the gay male community especially the guys 45 and over that carry the trauma or of I this.  I am HIV- and I managed and despite not always being safe not to contract the virus.  However I was always understanding and empathic towards guys in with her HIV and I never and turn anyone away sexually because of their her HIV status, in fact him several guys and who were HIV commented on it and my reaction was why would guys reject you, if you are going to have safe sex, and I didn’t get it.

Anyway watching the scenes from Pose, where they are on the HIV ward and guys are dying from the virus my heart truly broke off and myself and floods of tears and thinking and feeling how scared they must have been there, scared of dying, scared of getting very sick with a virus, scared because their family had rejected them and under different circumstances were living there with them holding their hands.  Scared because of society and its HIV. prejudice and stigma not to mention the homophobia and of course racism because of these characters and a black and Latino.

Even the white middle-class guys and they went spared in the early days, even when AZT in didn’t clear everybody and had horrific side effects, about my friend Paul was started on AZT body was too late for him and he died less than a year after being diagnosed they had been in the virus for very long time and are not tested a suspect because he knew he was somebody, like many gay men of that time he had been rejected by family.  Of course, when meds did become available the wealthier gay men in the US had access to them, but there was still a sense of community because they would either leave money to HIV causes or ensure guys who couldn’t get access to meds got theirs

That decade before they found the medicine that would make a difference and extend people’s lives in the UK and 1500 gay men a year were dying of a virus and this was always the infinitely more in America are and across Europe and.  Even in the early days of combination therapy guys were taking 30 to 40 tablets a day.

Thankfully now that’s down to two or three and if your viral load is undetectable and you keep on the medicine you pay no risk of transmitting the virus and yet people still stigmatized and have a prejudice against HIV positive guys.  While other guys engage in risky behavior at chem sex parties thinking they’re safe in the knowledge of they just have to take some pills and it will be OK and

But watching the scenes really got me feeling how fucking awful it was and how scared and alone and of these guys must have felt and he really broke my heart to remember this and think how far our community has come although he used the term community loosely because we do not have the same community now that we had a back then an unfortunate effect of having rights now.

Because of this the back there and we had to look out for each, we ethnic out for each other and look after each other especially when people fell sick of more when funerals need to be arranged, especially when the community had to mobilise and to fight prejudice and stigma on two fronts and to activate and engage in ways to prevent the virus from spreading because governments, especially in America and the UK, were not responding adequately to the virus most likely because it was killing faggott and queers and some people believe it was more than we deserved.  And

I would ask all my gay brothers please reflect on these facts, and if you’re on medicine and in well with her HIV please her brave act if you’ve got because the people at came before you who were not here now didn’t get that chance.  If you don’t know your HIV status or yeah HIV negative, also celebrate the fact you’re here and well and that’s an there are many ways and to either prevent me from becoming HIV positive, to deal with any risks that might happen and if you ask me to become HIV positive and your life chances are 1000 times better than they were 25 years ago.

 

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Body dysmorphia / Bigorexia

So, as you know I have complex physical and mental health issues, and I have always tried to be responsible for myself and not blaming the one and for my circumstances however the shallowness and body conscious a gay male community must shoulder some blame.

So, I have bigorexia / body dysmorphia, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, emotional unstable personality disorder, anxiety, or depression and suicidal ideation an ADHD. As well as several physical health conditions that impact on my day to day life.

This weekend is been highly triggering, is gay pride weekend in Manchester and because this week due to physical health problems, I have not got to the gym which is the only thing that’s my mental health anyway.  And some not able to go to PRIDE, and because I’ve not been to the gym and I’m not big and bulky enough and certainly not handsome or attract enough to go.  One of the reasons I feel this way and is only guys I get likes and comments on their photos of her hands and bath guys, then the guys that mental health issues they get taken seriously and are there handsome buffer guys and they get so much sympathy and empathy and yet they placed dozens of selfies a day and from my own experience when you mental health issues the last thing you do is press pictures of itself.

I am very often suicidal over this issue and it hurts my heart to feel this way, to feel that the gay male community despises me because I’m not good enough to be part of it up in terms of my looks and body size.  This is quite ironic considering the 25 years of service to this community in a variety of ways and to support it and support other gay men.

I honestly feel completely alienated from the community only the main efforts to join groups and participate and again my mental health issues call in the way and I was an made to feel unwelcome in many ways by some people in these groups.  These are my feelings and they don’t just happen and for no reason there are always triggers.

For me feedback is important so being told attractive all well-built supports me and if I’m not then I assume people believe the opposite.  I believe so I am ugly and not build enough.

I don’t socialise, I don’t have sex or even date because of it.  On the rare occasions I engage on the apps and want to date someone when it comes down to it I put off  a meeting them because I feel they will be disappointed by me and person.

I had bought expensive leather gear and destroyed it because I felt I wasn’t looking good in its on because I felt I’d lost bulk or muscle mass and couldn’t carry off again because of lack of compliments or positive feedback about how I looked.

I know the self confidence is important and that this is a gift that keeps giving because a more confident you are and more people compliment you, the when the at my history a history of being abused physically emotionally and mentally before the age of five and having the core beliefs that you are bad and unlovable.  And when you’re in the Care System and you Foster placement had broken down because you are confused busy again mixed messages from everybody.  Can you go to a children’s home and you basically told you are too fuckked up to be considered lovable and good enough to be fostered again.  Then you work so hard on your self to overcome all of this because it is drummed into you that you have to do this.  And then you get and 17 and the family never happened , the dissapointmnent breaks your heart and you wonder what is the point in even bothering. Then you have tp live on your own at 18 and you are told not to expect much from life.

So there is a whole narrative as to why I am an the way I and god knows I have worked or so fucking hard to overcome all of this, and it hasn’t happened I have crippling low self-esteem and body dysmorphia and I’m extremely hard on myself because that’s all I knew growing up and I find it very hard to and reframe any of these narratives to a positive.

So, this weekend again and due to a variety of reasons I’m not isolated and alone and doing all I can not to take my own life, yes, I mean they’re really!

Pride turns 50.

So, LGBT pride is 50 them, this year.  I also turned 50 this year.  Pride I was born out of oppression and discrimination.  The history lesson back and in the summer of 1969, the early summer the New York police are taking on themselves to raid various gay bars in the city.

The community will growing wary of this, many LGBT people had fled to the city from the countryside and the suburbs for protection, to be with the other people like them and to begin the community together.

The social venue sprang up and these were meeting places for people not just at me for sex but to meet each other and many friendship which would  build their community.

rumour has it the last straw was a death by Judy Garland and that night in the stonewall in LGBT people would gather at to mourn and show their respects yet once again the New York police raided the bar in the act of brutality against a community and the transgender woman of colour and latino heritage had enough, they fought back and before long there I ensured with LGBT community clearly said we’re not going to be passive anymore will fight back and will fight back with violence and aggression because you’re pushed us this far, and to stick to your level.

The following year people marched to remember the events of the year before and to say that we were not going to go away. Slowly across America are and across the world the month of June would become Pride month!  This didn’t happen overnight we had to go through the 1970s and progress was beginning to be made, we were challenging the stereotypes and by the mid-seventies pride Marches were happening in Europe are and other places.

Then along came her HIV, her HIV their will by the mid-1980s devastating the gay male population.  This encouraged increased homophobia and the media are vehemently condemning gay men for spreading a plague, obviously many religious organizations saw this as some kind of divine retribution.  The general public were fearful, the small steps that had been made towards acceptance vanished quicker than ice cream on a sunny day.

Will once again faced with prejudice, intolerance, violence, anger and discrimination.  Not only were the gay community bury and friends almost on a weekly basis we were faced with homophobia as well.

I remember my first pride march in 1992, where the police guarded the parade to protect us, yes protect us from people who were throwing stones and bottles at the pride.  And the police had a look of utter contempt and anger and hatred at us.  You got the sense they’d rather be throwing the bottles themselves.

At this time many gay venues had boarded up windows because so many Brits have been put through them often when he left gay bars you ran the risk of being bashed by people waiting outside to be you up just a being gay.

It wasn’t until the mid-1990s that things started to change, more and more LGBT people were being accepted, in soap’s gay characters started to appear on a more regular basis although the media would make a big song and dance about it.  Thankfully medication started to work and we were no longer and losing 1500 gay men a year to her HIV in the UK.

Then along came Labour government enacted are often pro LGBT laws and policies, we get protection in employment and housing, we get an equal age of consent at last, we get civil partnerships’ and we would get protection from hate crimes.  All of this didn’t happen overnight it was our brothers and sisters over the years step by step, first aired by footstep on every gay pride march walking forwards and hoping that things will change and pushing for things to change.

So my younger LGBT Brothers and sisters, my younger gay brothers when you are applying lipstick and make up her and glitter ready for you night out on the town to go out with your friends and enjoy yourselves remember who and how this happened for you, show some respects and some gratitude to the older LGBT people who came before you.  Not all of us are older guys living in a after you in a sexual way you really do need to go over that and be kinder to us is a community.  And not having a go you because you’re wearing better or because you make will form to a gay stereotype and is want to make you aware of the fact that if any of us had done that 20 years ago we would been beaten senseless on the streets and ER are my care in that the police would say we bought it on ourselves.

You have every right to be whoever you really are, there please do not feel the need to conform to a stereotype, were stereotyping is promoted in the gay community or one is being promoted from outside of the community you need to be who you really are, you need to be the LGBT person that you really truly are deep inside not one night is doing so you have to conform to acceptance within the LGBT community or from outside the LGBT community.

All of us who marched back then, I wasn’t marching in the 1980s but I was marching in the 1990s we didn’t march server I community would be restricted in any way with it from my heterosexual world or the LGBT world.

The world is changing again, the far right is on the rise and people are far more open to discuss any intolerance now than they were free or four years ago.  We can’t be complacent and we must move forwards and celebrate all of our achievements and I take is a step further to keep on going and keep on reminding people that were just people at the end of the day you’re either has same sex attraction or we’ll working with a gender identity in some way.  And we also need to remember our brothers and sisters across the world who were still in their place there we were 30 years ago or worse or in a place where they can be imprisoned, tortured or even executed for being LGBT.

A community really do needs to come together and stay together and regardless of where we fall on the masculine/feminine scale, we need to have each other’s backs and we need to keep fighting.  Up

 

Straight pride

So, it’s the month of June and that means is LGBT pride month.  A little history lesson, June became pride month as a result of the stonewall riots that took place at the end of June 1969.  So 50^th anniversary of the time when the LGBT community in New York had had enough of discrimination and their bars being raided by the police and responded with a riot lead primarily by the Trans women from a black and Latino Communities (TeRFS please take note of this fact and store in your memory banks when you are sprouting your Trans phobic nonsense)

Anyway, there seems to be a growing movement of straight people bemoaning  the fact that June is gay pride month.  They howl and complain, why isn’t there a straight pride?  Why do GAYS have to be special?

• Well, when a straight person can look me in the eyes and tell me how many countries in the world that imprison, torture and in some cases execute people purely because they are heterosexual.?
• If you can tell me how many countries in the world prohibit straight people from marrying purely because they a straight or prohibit them from fostering. children or even having children purely because I a straight.?
• Or they can tell me how many countries can you be fired from your job, evicted from your house, the discriminated against or refuse services purely because you’re straight.?
• Or they can tell me how many young people have been kicked out of their homes when they’re told her parents that they are straight.?
• Or they can tell me and how many heterosexuals have been set upon and beaten up by LGBT people because they’re straight?

Then you can have your straight pride!

I’m sure that they would be hard pressed to come up with any country or place where this have happened.

Even in countries where we have further or partial LGBT equality, or where we have largely mainstream acceptance from society, coming out can be a very difficult thing for people,  Also, BAME representation up is thin on the ground as is people with disabilities.

Pride is a chance for all of us in the LGBT community to come together on the particular day that your city or town hold his pride event, for us on that day to being a majority rather the minority.  For us to celebrate our journey and celebrate the struggles we had to reach the point where we are now.

We also use it to pur pressure on the countless  countries that continue to persecute and discriminate against LGBT people and show them that they are not forgotten and that we are on their side.

Also, to remember we are still not safe just a few weeks ago a lesbian couple was badly beaten on public transport in London, purely because they wouldn’t titillate a group of Heterosexual men by kissing each other.  Homophobic a crime since Brexit has increased year on year, we of people protesting that primary schoolchildren are being taught that we exist and we are politicians, even politicians standing to be our next prime minister agreeing with these parents.  We can’t be complacent.

So straight people whining and complaining that there isn’t a straight pride, be grateful you don’t need one be grateful that everything about you is widely promoted and celebrated every second of every minute of every day.  Don’t beg the is the triggers a up has left you last begrudge us a month is representative of our community as we are is most LGBT charities would agree about 1 in 12 of the population or so actually were only getting our fair share of the limelight.

Murdering the masculine

 

Toxic masculinity, this is a term being used a lot these days and for good reason yes I do believe this is for good reason before people attack me for what I will say in this blog.

Toxic masculinity for me isn’t an exclusive heterosexual attribute however it is more commonly found amongst straight men and its not necessarily just a working-class straight men either.  It’s men to believe that their gender is better and more worthy than anyone else’s, its men who use his power over people to abuse them and or subjugate them.  It’s men in the upper classes in the ruling classes that collectively screw us over everybody else.  Using their class and the old boys’ network to maintain power and control.

Amongst the working classes it that racist, homophobic, transphobic and misogynist attitude compounded usually we’ve arrogance and ignorance and stubbornness.  A stubbornness that can’t be reasoned with and when presented with facts and concrete facts that counter to the of bigotry and prejudice they remain steadfast in that belief, in some ways this brought about Brexit in the UK and trump in America.

In regards to the gay community the term is used these days to basically describe any masculine gay man that does not fit the stereotype of what a gay man should be, more so to the guys who express the desire for an attraction into other masculine gay men.  The nineties term that was used a lot was “straight acting” to me up this did know someone who will deny their sexual orientation in many situations i.e. be closeted.  Or they mean guys who are masculine in orientation in terms of what you would classically describe as masculine, butch, confident, self assured, strong etc…

Now lying seem to be much more blurred in terms of what masculine is and what masculinity is.  I for one of getting tired of the bashing of masculine gay men who are attractive to other masculine gay men and the assumption being we a homophobic, we’re femmephobic, we are arseholes, we toxic, won’t an eye of a sexual orientation.

Now if someone is femmephobic the man is bad and that is wrong and no one was in the gay male community should be attacking or demonising one on another, surely our primary focus should be on promoting brotherly love and an awareness within our community and challenging for discrimination and prejudice by he’s still somewhat prevalent in society.

I for one will be honest I like masculine men, I also like short well built guys.  There is a very dominant side of me they’re really gets off on the idea of being in complete control and charge of these masculine guys.  There attitude and bravado is a real turn on for me and I don’t see why should apologise for that.

I am not in any way shape or form femmephobic, however I would take issue with the narrative were only been one way to be gay in terms of how you manifests your personality and the way that you behave.  These days it seems there is only one way to be gay and that is the drag idol / queer eye for a straight guy type of gay man.  Even on the first dates recently the last three gay couples or prospective gay couples on there have been very stereotypically gay, surely the fight for equality meant acceptance for all and LGBT people to be who they truly are not feel pressurised to behave so to my to be accepted in the community.

I’m not into drag idol either absolutely no idea about fashion or fashion sense, I have my own little ecliptic style and way of dressing which is unusual.

Now there’s a bigger reason this is important, if you go on grindr especially grindr most of the profiles have no face pic because the guys  aren’t comfortable with their sexual orientation.  In part this is likely to be because they are masculine and there are not stereotypically gay in respects to their personalities, their style and the likes own interests.  So these guys are living lies and them and being excluded from the gay community, I’m sure they’re look in from time to time and see all the vitriol and hatred directed at masculine gay men, especially the ones who like other masculine gay men.  This is an helpful for these guys as in some ways they have been prevented from being who they are.  And now a be honest, I feel a lot of this is bitterness from these guys as they are attracted to these masculine gay men and he won’t be returned in some way because they’re not masculine in that way.  I’m not saying the anen’t masculine: not masculine in that way of a bravado and the  attitude.

So come on let’s just accept each other for who we are, as long as there not being arseholes or unkind to each other.

Stonewall

 

Stonewall has just turned 30 years old,

Let’s turn at the hands of o’clock back to 1988.  A book in children’s book in a library in haringey which was a “looney left” labor council.  The book called journey lives with Eric and Martin, was book about a little girl who lived with her dad and her dad’s boyfriend.  The book follows a birthday of one of the men and and is about the day to day life.  Now this book was in the education library and somehow the daily mail got hold of this and published a damning lying article that this book was being taught to primary schoolchildren.  It’s true the book was aimed at primary schoolchildren however it wasn’t being used.

As you can imagine, this was the 1980s and gay rights and had taken steps backwards thanks to the her HIV epidemic and 1500 gay men a year were dying from a virus and the government was crippled with an action about what to do.  Homophobia was rife in the media and of course this article wiped it up further.  The blue rinse brigade in the Tory heartlands wrote letters to their MP’s demanding action being taken about the promotion of being gay to children.

As a result section 28 was born, there’s a famous speech at the Tory party conference from Margaret Thatcher saying children are being taught they have the inalienable right to be gay.  Most people are supported this action, as at that time around 2/3 of the British public felt being gay was wrong.

As with  HIV, the gay community did not take this lying down and stonewall was created in order to prevent section 28 from happening by campaigning to MPs and the public at large.  At this time the labour party had already committed to enacting LGBT rights and equality once it gained power.  He of course would take another nine years for this to happen.  But sadly section 28 did happen and was part in the house of commons on the 24^th of May 1988.  This would effectively ban local authorities from talking about LGBT issues in any way shape or form.  Effectively prevented schools and colleges from a educating young people about this.  I hate to think how many LGBT people are not here today as a result of this.

Things today there are a lot different, much of this is down to the great work of stonewall, in fact I am RE watching the wonderful Ricky Beadle Blairs FIT, which is about a level students some of whom had a and the use of the word gay in education establishments.  This resource went out to every secondary school in the UK and was met with a positive response in regards to challenging the use of the word gay.  Of course since then we had the age of consent equalized, LGBT equality in the workplace, in housing, in education, hate crime laws and section 28 repealed all of this the Tories opposed or the way until their conversion to be LGBT friendly when they gained power in 2010 and gave us marriage equality.

We have a lot to thank stonewall for, weak our rest on our laurels because again and another storm is brewing, we’ve had the breaks storm any increase in anti LGBT hate crime.  We now have a coalition or religious extremists opposing the work of no outsiders who championed equality and educate primary schoolchildren are multi cultural issues.  Ironically these religious groups are included in this education however they take issue by LGBT people have the same rights as they do.  Again language similar use to section 28 is being used, terminology like promoting homosexuality to vulnerable children, educating young people specifically primary school age children that being gay is OK.  Is history repeating itself, today the prime minister has resigned and we don’t know yet who is going to take over helm of the Tory party, the Brexit Party is rising in the polls.  Could LGBT people be sacrificed to gain much needed votes in is unstable political climate?

We still need stonewall, I know the Trans community definitely do and much of their work is focused on this now however the LGB communities also still need stonewall because who knows what will happen in the future!

Transphobic “A”gender

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Recently there has been a huge increase in attacks on primarily the Trans women community, you may may think this has come from people who voted for Brexit, or homophobes.  No it hasn’t it has come from within the LGBT community, sadly a small minority of lesbian feminists who call themselves TeRFS, that’s Trans exclusory radical feminists.  They don’t believe Trans women to be real men, and that’s the nicest thing may say, the make comments about an people with penises, forcing themselves on lesbians, for some lesbians to have sex with people who used to have penis is, or might still have a penis.  There seem to be a lot of focus on male genitalia.

They becry that these women are forcing themselves into women only spaces, spaces are supposed to be for only women are now with Trans women who identifies lesbian or bisexual the spaces are again threatened by penises.  They highlight the odd case where an someone has come out as Trans woman and had gone to a woman only prison or space and has revealed they still have male well was considered now genitalia and therefore of course illogically known Trans women can be trusted.

They had the audacity to stop London pride last year, they stopped he for a good 45 minutes, how dare they.  The sheer audacity of doing this, I mean to there not know their history, it was Trans women and drag Queens actually more specifically Trans women and drag Queens who were of colour and Hispanic that aligned themselves kicked off the stonewall riots that will become pride.  How they can do this is beyond me, I don’t even grasp how they can be so hateful towards members of our and community and actually a line themselves with the far right and the likes of Donald trump.  They even ironically support the same view of the works misogynist in the male community are wonder if they get this.

Also currently in the media there is a witch hunt against the Trans community and lies and misinformation being propagated because increase me Trans individuals are coming out younger and younger and there have been dozens of cases of Trans kids six and seven for example coming out and being supported by the family and or carers and their school.  There are people who consider themselves to be academics and highly intelligent and friends of LGBT community who was saying that these young people are being ramraided into a trans gender way of life, when they are probably UL lesbian or gay or just boys who like playing with dolls or girls that like playing with guns and cars and that because of this the best thing is transgender and being forced by adults to be transgender when they’re not.  This is of course utter Bullshit and there are no cases there are more aware of where young kids have been forced or pressured into being Trans because they don’t want me to boys’ things when there are boy well was considered boys things.  Of course, the TeFTS love this and use it as a weapon to further bash the Trans community.

They tried to get funding removed from mermaids who were doing really good work supporting young Trans people and they went and down the safeguarding route saying they were harming young people through the advice they were giving them which for against a parents’ wishes and harmful to the young people (this was in regards to the young Trans men binding when their breasts were starting to develop) they were initially successful and the lottery temporarily halted their funding, when he is found out and that this was Bullshit it was thankfully reinstated.

Of course the right wing and Trans phobic press, loved all of this and used in as fuel in the hate filled or articles about an young people some of whom were primary school age being a indoctrinated into a trans lifestyle this was although of course part of a left wing LGBT or agenda to bring about an the end of the western world as we know it (lo)

What breaks my heart is the fact that within the LGBT community people who identifies Trans, nonbinary and gender fluid have a worse mental health outcome and up to 50 per cent of Trans people attempt suicide.  You may wonder why CIS gendered gay male is talking about this, why have many trans friends and I don’t like prejudice and I have no tolerance for ignorance.  I recall than meeting my first transgender person way back in 1992, I had just come out and knew nothing about the LGBT community.  I was part of a group that were going to Brighton pride and we were driven down by are transgender woman called Angela.  I had never met such a person in my life and are still quite innocent but then, I sat in the front of the van, and had a conversation with her, she had a female partner and a be honest I couldn’t get my head round it but it didn’t faze me at all.  She explained the story to me; I can’t quite remember exactly what happened by was like OK up whatever.  As long as she was happy for us all that mattered to me.

I met my first Trans Man back in 1995 or six in bar code in Soho, I struck up a conversation with what I considered to be cute sexy guy.  As we got talking, he told me he was a Trans man, I never met rose member for that day I knew all about Trans women community as there were loads of trans women in Soho.  Anyway, I asked him questions and he was very honest and why he told me broke my heart.  He had identified as a lesbian for a long time and struggled with his gender identity he eventually came out and was met with a lot of intolerance from is lesbian friends this really surprised me.  He said, if you do that he’ll become one of them one of the enemy and we won one anything to do with you, this bore out to be true he followed his path, is truth and lost a huge wave of his friends including his partner.

So for me, this is about humanity and a person’s right to be who they are.  No one has the right to dictate what someone else’s gender is or isn’t.  So when you meet the transgender person for the first time, please just accept them or they sell you is the gender they tell you that they are and what they have in terms of genitalia is none of your fucking business.