death of a porn star

Over the last few weeks, there have been the suicides of two well know gay porn stars. This caused a fairly heated debate about the porn industry especially as both do regular blogs. There was a sense that the suicides were linked to being involved in the industry and that the two go hand in hand in some ways. There were a couple of hateful responses around the morality of porn and this in some ways is to be expected , if you put yourself out there so to speak you will get feedback, both positive, negative and in different.

If you’re involved in that line of work, you can you expect your “ego” to be constantly fed accolades and be worshiped as a hero. Anyway enough of the content around the responses. For me what was interesting was the level of reaction about this and I couldn’t wonder what if it had been say two average looking gay rights activists that had taken their lives rather than two guys adorned as sex gods and physically perfect. Would the reaction have been the same? Would their have been all the posts about how tragic this was, what a loss this was etc? About what this may say about the gay male community, is it over sexualised and is someone’s looks, body and dick size more important than their heart, what they do and the contribution to the world that they make?

Suicide, self harm, mental health issues, drug and alcohol usage is far higher in gay and bisexual men then it is in any other group of people, so its not uncommon in fact gay men are something like ten times more likely to attempt suicide then their straight counterparts. Personally I feel any suicide is tragic, as someone who has had suicidal thoughts (due to feeling alone and isolated) it’s not nice to go through that and either acting or not acting on the thoughts is no easy thing trust me. That darkness can be consuming, so when someone has taken that action and succeeded the question for me is how can this be prevented in the future, what was going on with them and where was the support around them? I can see how being involved in an industry that is driven by sex, being sexy, having a big cock, having an amazing physique and great looks that being a human and having feelings comes pretty low down the list and that having needs and mental health issues is not seen as very “horny” so there would be pressure to keep issues to yourself.

The same can be said in the wider gay community, being seen as having baggage, a past, needing love and support aren’t really welcomed. Aren’t we supposed to be outgoing, partying, funny, bouncy and always happy? In some ways many gay men face these issues, I could quote more mental health stats and the routes of these issues are reasonably clear to me. When you grow up in a heterosexist society and yes things are getting better but there are still people out there saying how “wrong” we are, how we don’t deserve equality etc? This has affects that’s not rocket science. However when it comes down to my gay and bisexual brothers taking their lives , whether they are a porn star, a teen or gay rights activist they all deserve acknowledging , their stories shared and everyone working to reducing the number of gay men who attempt suicide or who sadly succeed.

As ever take care of yourselves
Jakeb
http://www.twitter.com/authenticgayblg
http://www.theauthenticgayblog.wordpress.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/NorthernFella

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