Inner Child stuff

I have been a member and part of the SG family for a while now and I am pleased and grateful that I found this loving space in cyber land.

 

How astrology has fit in with my development! 

As I type this the Sun is halfway through his journey through Leo who he rules, Mercury is at One degree Leo retroing, So I am working on, along with my fellow rams (suns or rising!) the inner child, or as I say as Leo is regal the inner Prince and Princess. While my/our Egos are being upgraded and getting the Uranus treatment and Pluto transforming our careers and Saturn giving our partnerships, the Saturn treatment and we all know he’s tough!

 

I will do my best to blend this all together and share how it has been for me.

 

So I will start with the Sun and Mercury. I have been given the chance to nurture my Inner Prince again, now he has had issues in he past and still does to some extent no wonder really as I grew up in Children’s Homes from the age of five and the time I was at home before aged five, I had a Mother (Aquarius with Leo rising) who was OCD and Bi Polar and a father (Virgo, I suspect Capricorn rising) who never really wanted a child and got trapped into a marriage when my mum got pregnant (they weren’t married at the time) I have clear memories of them arguing when I was a baby and me crying and them not coming. When my father left and they divorced when I was two. My mum couldn’t cope and I was over conditioned as a little Prince (OCD mum lol) 

 

Anyway I grew up in care and moved homes five times. I was bullied in the last home mericlessly because I wasn’t into fighting and usual boy stuff and because I wouldn’t fight physically! On reflection after I came out as gay that they had probably picked up I was different like that and tried to bully it out of me! Lol well that worked well as I came put anyways! They also didn’t like that I studied well at school and did well, which was amazing considering I had missed so much of it before.

I was bullied at school because I came from my home!

 

Anyway I did have contact with them while I was in care they blamed each other for went on, visit and contact was chaotic at best!

 

Anyway thats some context as to where my Inner Child and Little Prince came from, which is useful to know when working on this transit. So I have found the Sun has shone his light on the areas needing light, love and warmth and Mercury is going over all the old messages and programming I received in that period.

 

Now I was bullied because of who I was, for my sensitivity, However I have remained Authentic to whom I am it has been a challenge sometimes as the Little Prince wants to be accepted yet will not conform to do so lol which has been tricky to balance sometimes. Luckily the being gay hasnt been an issue despite the attempt to beat it out of me while I was a child. So right wingers and crazy Christians you can’t make gays straight lol! Mercury has been helping look at where those messages still hurt me and where the Sun needs to shine his light to soothe the Prince to become the Wise, Loving King!

 

Now onto the Ego, the work of the Sun and Mercury fits here as the Ego and Inner Child are linked and sometimes the Inner Child/Little Prince influences how the Ego or my Ego has acted out! I am aware of my need for attention no shit Sherlock lol what with North Node, Chiron, Moon, Venus, Sun, Saturn all in Aries and my 11th house! The Childhood stuff and Uranus breaking it all down as he is still in the first third of Aries and has gone over my north Node, Chiron and my moon. So my emotions, healing and karma in someways a tricky transit, while at the same time squaring Pluto in Cappy and how my ego is linked to m y career and the relationship that has with each other. As in my ego is tied into what I do and with all that Aries and 11th house stuff is societial and how society and what I do in it is part of who iAm. 

 

Anyway lately there has been breakdown and breakthrough doing this blog I feel is part of the break through as is paying for six mentoring sessions with Diane Hall to increase my spidey senses and get me on track to do the work I am here to do. Moving to Manchester to improve my social life and career options. Be flexible about what my options and possibilities are. Despite my frustrations and sometimes my Little Prince not acting as I would prefer, I feel, sense, know and believe I am here for a reason and have a message or messages to share (Gemini rising!) Especially how I can communicate with my voice being compromised by the surgery I had.

 

I will be brief about MErriage, Even though on a sexual, social and relationship level Saturn’s transit through Libra my fifth house and marriage sign has been frustrating and almost non existent and sometimes fodder for my mind to kick in and say well look at your childhood you are unloveable etc… On the whole I have noticed my tastes in Men have actually become broader and as such the opportunities for a relationship. my values and what I am after on a human, spiritual level have remained constant as I was always quite clear that the bloke has to be my Prince and treat me like a King! So mutual love and respect!

 

All this with my health stuff which I am now pretty sure is down to solar flares as each time I have an episode a day ot two later I read that Solar Flare activity has been high

 

Anyway thanks for your time in reading this, MY intention was to share what has happened and how I have experienced this transits.

 

My learning has been pretty intense and I know I haven’t always conducted myself as resourcefully as I could however I have always been Authentic and in context have done amazingly well not only to get through such a challenging childhood and I appreciate every childhood has its challenges! To have gone through such a massive operation recover so quickly! To have stuck with making the changes and doing the work. To wanting to share my experiences help others as I do have such a big desire and intention to make the world a better place. To having a good sense of whom i Am and to accepting myself more and more and as much as I can! I am still work in Progress, however we ALL are or we’d not be here on earth at this time we weren’t still work in Progress. All part of my Journey, of all of you and your Journeys is part of healing the Planet as a whole, One life time is many life times of the Planet! Earth is growing up into Aldulthood and by me working on my Little Prince and you working on your little Princes and Princesses we are working on the earths inner child as well.

 I love you all for all your contributions to my learning. ♥♥♥

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A – Z of life management and Spirituality!

Part One!

For the next few sessions I will look at the A –Z of life skills, life management and improving your outlook and hence your chances of success!

A is for allow or allowing, Sometimes just being in a state of allowance is resourceful, I am not saying that you are accepting something or putting up with something you do not want, Its about being in the energy space of allowing to have that feeling… Before you do something to change it! Being in a state of allowance means that you are judging yourself less, judging a situation differently which can lessen its “impact” on you!

B is for Breathing, now this may sound simple. Well it is, our emotional state can be changed through breathing more effectively and many of us do not breathe as effectively a we can! So to do this you breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth and try to breath from your stomach or your diaphragm! It’s good to do as much as you can or all the time if you can! Breathing helps shift the energy of your body as well

C is for consciously create, as in consciously create your life and your experiences. How often to do let your mind run away with negative thoughts with, Judgements, Conclusions, Computations and Decisions about others about your life, about your day and most importantly about yourself? You are the creator of your experience, so why not create a better experience. Remember what I said about mental rehearsal? Same principle. So small steps at first! Spend a few minutes when you wake up each morning creating your day, how you want it to be/go, what intentions you have for it etc….. Run it for about five mins…. Yes it takes practice and gets easier the more you do it!

D is for Dream, Dream, big, Dream limitlessly

E is for Ego, Is it your friend or not, your ego is behind your little voice, your inner voice and your self talk! It’s the one that tells you that are worthless, you can’t do things and it’s the one that demands so much from you and others! It’s the one that needs more and more and more, this can be harmful to your core self esteem as it can behind the need to have loads of sex to feel attractive and make the self judgement that not having sex means you are worthless! That you have to have things from outside yourself to “make” you feel good about yourself!  Remember I talked about your inner best friend this can be your ego it can be tamed to support and love you rather than Judge you! Your ego can be one that needs to add 100s of sexy men on facebook to feel worthwhile or the one that supports you and tells you that no matter what you are loved and adored!

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Authentic Self

I will attempt to be mindful about this! I have been wondering a lot lately about being my authentic self and speaking “my” truth! Now what can this mean? Also how can you or I be our authentic selves?

As a gay man I am fully aware of the labels that we attach to ourselves and to each other, you know bear, cub, otter, twink and muscle Mary to name just a few. What surprises me is how “judgemental” these labels are and how are “restrictive” and “prescriptive” they can be! I was once told I wasn’t hairy enough and too ugly to be a bear or a cub! Despite resonating with that image (mostly) and being attracted (mostly) to men with some meat on them! I will not go into judgement here or analysis to death as to why this has come about! Apart from how “sexualised” our communities can be. This can be both a positive and a negative (that’s another topic I will like to talk about another time)

How does this impact on self growth, on self development and self improvement? Well for being authentic is key here, we need to be able to be our true selves and speak our truth to be able to grow, develop and ultimately get what we want out of life!

Now I feel that these labels we can attach to ourselves do not always best serve ourselves that well and certainly do not support us being authentic or speaking our truths if we “have” to be a certain way to feel that we fit into the gay communities or “gay world”! To act a certain way, have so much sex and with so many men. Because when for whatever reason when that doesn’t happen, we can judge, berate and generally beat ourselves up as no good, not good enough, not bear enough. Not sexy enough etc…… Now by being your authentic self and speaking your truth you can better be your own best friend (remember that one?) Also it doesn’t mean that you can’t hang around or socialise and have sex with other gay men of a certain “image” etc it means that your whole identity and self worth will not be built around having to completely fit in with that!

Be well, Be yourself, Be sexy, Be  mindful and remember we are all work in progress

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video intro!

introducing a bit more about what I can do!

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Who’s your best friend?

I ask you? Who is your best friend? The person who reminds you how great you are, reminds you of all the things that you are good at!

Now I wonder, how many of you have answered with me, yourself? There are times where all of us would like some reassurance, some positive strokes, to be given a compliment or a boost sometimes! I myself recently was feeling out of sorts and needed a “verbal” hug some reassurance that I was ok and appreciated! As sometimes happens when the universal energy is “challenging” us! The supportive voices from “others” (friends, family etc) were silent! So remembering my NLP learnings I asked, what part of myself can facilitate that “need”

Now positive feedback is nice and I am not intenating that people should refrain from showing appreciation and complimenting and supporting each other! I am saying that perhaps we can try to be our own best friend first! After all who do we spend all our time? Ourselves, wouldn’t it be nice if that time was spent with someone we liked?

Would you want to sped time with someone who judges, berates, belittles and tells you, you are bad? Now this voice is often called our “inner self” “self talk” It can be tamed and it can be turned around to be one of support and caring! So when you requite or feel the need for some kind of confidence boost your “inner” best friend can give it!

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missions statement for my soul!

The intention of my soul in this lifetime, on this planet and in this universe is to experience the joy, pleasure, abundance, pleasure, beauty, love, participation and wonder in my physical body. While being connected to my source energy, inner being, soul and higher self!

To live, love and be, to model and live my life in its entirety appreciating and loving my whole self.

To follow and manifest my deepest desires to coach, motivate, facilitate and support my fellow physical beings to to develop, grow, nuture and embrace their true selves to manifest their full potential and be connected to their source energy.

To support and work with my fellow light workers to support the healing of the planet.

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